Where I Belong

Just wanted to share a quick video of a song that speaks volumes about the Truth of my identity here on this earth- this world is not my home.This relates to my last post about the tension that I experience living in the "now, but not yet" stage as a Christ-follower.

"These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city."

Hebrews 11:13-16

"Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul."

1 Peter 2:11

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Matthew 6:19-21 

Beneath It All

Preface:  I haven't posted in a while and I don't really know if anyone ever reads my blog. That doesn't matter. In fact, if anything, this post today is for me to get my thoughts on paper. I know a lot of my nursing friends have wanted to hear about my preparation and experience with the NCLEX. I will post about that at a later date, but for now, I just really want to process through these past couple of months since graduation and all that Christ has done and is doing. 

 TRANSITION:

Transition. I guess you could say that I am going through a transition. (By no means, will this be the last transition that I will experience in my lifetime.)  What I mean is I am no longer identified as a college student, but rather a college-grad.  According to the world, I am supposed to have landed my dream job, have moved out of my parent's home, be making plans to move towards marriage with my perfect tall, dark, and handsome boyfriend, and have started making purchases on a home and/or new vehicle. 

Or am I? 

Am I a failure since I haven't landed the job that I am expected to have landed PRIOR TO graduating from college with my nursing degree? Am I a failure, if I am still driving my 2001 Beetle around town, while the hub cabs are beginning to fall off?  Am I a failure if I am single and living at home with my family? The answer of course is no. No, I am not a failure. The Lord doesn't experience my life as a failure either.  In fact, He- the Author and Perfector of my faith, has used this season to began stripping away many idols in my life. Ministry, my dream job, moving into a cute home, and time with friends have a pattern of being idols in my life.  Idols: although not explicitly "bad" in and of themselves, they are things I run to other than Christ to satisfy. They may satisfy me for a while, but the satisfaction is guaranteed to only be TEMPORARY! Then again, I find myself looking for something else to pile into a hole of emptiness that was only meant for Christ to complete. I put a weight on these things, that they cannot carry nor were they ever intended to hold. This is DANGEROUS!

God has uniquely designed this season of my life in a way where I am pressed to think and meditate on the things of God. His fight for me is relentless. He has used these things, that to the world would seem like an ultimate failure, to till up my soul and prepare me to believe the TRUTH about who I am in Him and to bring glory to himself.

Jesus' sweet whisper and SHOUT at the same time is that I AM HIS and HE IS MINE! 

I am not going to lie and say that this has been an easy season. No! It has been hard and well fought AGAINST on my end. I want to display to the world my pedigree- my degree and my accolades, my time in ministry on UNCC's campus, my, my my.... It's all about me. Don't you see? Please tell me you see all that I have done?  But Jesus says, " Lauren, all of your "good works" amounts to FILTHY RAGS. There is no need for you to try and prove to the world that you are good. You are not good. But, IN ME (CHRIST) you are a new creation. You have been given MY RIGHTEOUSNESS. I  chose you before the foundation of the world. I have adopted you and YOU ARE MINE and this has NOTHING AT ALL to do with you and what you've done, except for your sin! YOU are MINE, because of  who I am and what I ACCOMPLISHED on the CROSS!  Look to the cross, Lauren. It is finished." 

In light of this, I pray that my heart's affection and my mind's attention would be soley fixed on Christ alone. That I may KNOW Him and that whatever I do, may I do it ALL for the glory of God. 

As a believer, I live in this stage of the now, but not yet. I have godly ambitions, longing so deeply to be conformed into Christ-likeness, yet my flesh is real and sin remains. My identity is not what I THINK I am or what I THINK I SHOULD be, but WHO I AM. 

Apart from Christ: 

I am separated

I am under the wrath of God

I am in bondage to sin

I am blind to truth

I am dead in my sin 

I am hard-hearted

I am a law-breaker

I am deceived

I am wicked

I am evil 

I AM NOT GOOD. 

BUT GOD IN HIS GRACE & MERCY SENT JESUS and through repentance and faith In Christ: 

I am what I am by God's grace

I am united to the Lord

I am a new creation 

I have been hidden with Christ

I am an image bearer

I am a member of Christ's body

I am blessed with every spiritual blessing

I am an heir of God

I am a seed of Abraham

I am a child of Light

I am holy and blameless

I am a member of a holy nation 

I am a stranger and alien in the world

I am part of the True Vine

I am CHOSEN

I am appointed

I am resurrected to new live

I am a slave of Righteousness

I am the dwelling place of God

So for now, I am seeking to KNOW Jesus. To walk with Him daily and to TRUST faithfully, even while everything seems to be falling apart. He sustains me. 

"For we are the circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh- But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of KNOWING CHRIST JESUS MY LORD. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may GAIN CHRIST and be FOUND IN HIM, NOT having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes THROUGH FAITH IN CHRIST, the righteousness of God that depends on faith- that I may KNOW HIM and the POWER OF HIS RESURRECTION, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. NOT that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, BUT I PRESS ON TO MAKE IT MY OWN, because Christ Jesus has MADE ME HIS OWN. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained." 

Philippians 3:3, 7-16