Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
-Hebrews 12:1-2
Sin is terrible, we all know that. But for real. Sin leads to death, eternal separation from God. Sin goes against the very thing that we were created for, to bring glory to God. Sin says that we are the lord of our life and that God's plan isn't perfect. We believe the lies that our original father, Satan, has scrounged up for us to believe. Sin brings a cloud on our mind- we don't see, think, hear, or act clearly. The voice of God becomes faint. It is hard to see the light, because where there is darkness light doesn't enter. Only making that snowball effect of sin leading to death proceed faster and faster.
Our eyes must be FIXED on Christ as we run this race of the Christian life.
Fixed: firmly in position, determined, established, obsessive, persistently occurring in the mind, supplied, etc.
As I have been going through this season it is especially easy to become so fixed on things other than Christ like my grades, comparing myself to other girls, ministry, future plans, etc. I want to be a woman who is so FIXED on Christ. Not that school, ministry, or the desires that I have are necessarily bad, but in essence when I desire those things more than Christ, those things become a god or an idol to me.
I have recently been concerned with my thoughts. Your thought life controls the way you act, what you say, what you do, etc. I want to have the mind and thought life of Christ. During our CCP retreat last weekend we talked about this and it is so true, your thoughts can consume you and therefore you must seek to have the thought life of Christ.
I have noticed that a lot this week particularly because I had three tests. Anytime there is a test in nursing school, everyone freaks out about it and we all become consumed in it.My mind starts blowing up with thoughts like " Do I really know this information? Did I study enough? How much did she study? What grade did she get? Oh dang, I studied a lot longer than she did and I got this crappy grade, really? What grades did everyone else get? What does my teacher think about me in clinical? Am I stepping up and proving myself enough to get my teacher's approval?" The reality is that our grades are not eternal. Yes, I am so so so privileged for the opportunity to be able to go to school and yes, the Lord has called me to be a student therefore I must honor Him by being a good steward of my studies. However, when I become so consumed with making straight A's or if I do bad on a test or if I eat, breathe, sleep, poop nursing school it is not healthy and it is sin in my life. I am therefore making school an idol. I am saying I must have God + Good Grades = happy/satisfied.
This scares me.
I recently read through the passage in Job 1:6-22 that talks about Job's experience. Job was a man who was clearly blessed, yet who feared God, turned away from evil at all costs, and was very reputable among the land. To make this short and sweet. Satan wanted to try and prove to God that if everything Job had (material possessions, land, family, etc.) was taken away from him that Job would not still worship God. God gave permission to Satan that he could stretch out his hand and touch everything that he had, but that he couldn't lay his hand again Job himself (v11-12). (Which I love that picture, because it clearly shows God's protection over His children and no one can be plucked from His hand- John10:29) Satan takes all of Job's property and children through a variety of awful situations, yet at the end of the passage, Scripture says that " Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and WORSHIPED. And he said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong." (v20-22)
WOW! In all of that Job did not sin or charge, blame, accuse, yell at, become frustrated with God because of his circumstance. I am just amazed. If I were to fail every test and fail out of nursing school, would I still be a woman who stands before God and my first reaction would be to worship Him?
Through prayer, fellowship, evangelism, studying Scripture, and meditating on God's Word I can be fixed on Christ. My mind can be consumed with thoughts of Christ and it is so vital to arm myself with Christ's thinking. After all, He has overcome the world! My grades are not over Him, time is not over Him, even the power of Satan is not over Him!
My prayer is that I would be a woman who is so FIXED and so SATISFIED with Christ alone.
So, that if everything material was taken away from me, I would stand before God and not blame Him, but fall down and worship Him. The truth is, if this was to happen HE IS STILL WORTHY! After all, IT'S NOT ABOUT ME! I never did anything to earn or deserve His grace and mercy. I was not worthy enough to begin with to be adopted as His child. I deserved God's wrath and eternal punishment, but because his grace and mercy He sent his Son Jesus to pay the penalty for MY sin so that I may have a right relationship with God and that my sins would be pardoned forever more.
PRAISE BE TO GOD!
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